FW: Thanking You In Advance


My fellow Americans,

As your future president I want to thank voters of all political stripes for their mindless support, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor’s ties with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, and my blatantly liberal voting record while I present myself as some sort of bipartisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush’s youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political chicanery.

I would also like to thank the Kennedys for coming out in support of me.  There’s a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King Jr., they both slept with Marilyn, and Teddy’s negligence caused the death of a young girl.  I’m not going anywhere near the Kennedy cousins, especially Michael Skakel.

And I’d like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support.  Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. White people who vote for me get some relief from their racist guilt.

I say things that sound meaningful but don’t really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning.  If things have meaning, then that means you have to think.

Americans are tired of thinking.  It’s time to shut down the brain and open up the heart.

So when you go to vote in November, remember don’t think, just do.  And do it for me.

Thanking you in advance.

Barack Hussein Obama


5 responses to “FW: Thanking You In Advance

  1. You make the claim that Obama has accomplished nothing legislatively, so I decided to list some of his accomplishments for you:

    In 2006 Obama, along with Sen. John McCain, sponsored a bill passed by Congress that created a searchable, online database of all government contracts.

    In 2007, Obama sponsored a bill to expand the public financing of presidential elections and bar soft money from being used in the funding of presidential conventions.

    Obama sponsored a bill in 2007 that would establish criminal penalties for engaging in voter deception. The bill was passed by the House but has not been by the Senate.

    In the wake of the Walter Reed scandal, Obama introduced legislation increasing standards of care and oversight of VA programs.

    In 2006, Obama sponsored a bill that would limit congressional raises to the same rate as increases in the federal minimum wage.

    I got this material from http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Barack_Obama

    It is very difficult for a democrat to pass any legislation in the senate because of the very narrow democratic majority. The republicans fillibuster everything.

  2. Excellent insight. To your second point, Obama has contradicted both the letter and spirit animating the bill to bar soft money. You may or may not be informed of this, but Obama has eschewed public financing and is using private funds for his campaign. To your third point, Dems’ behavior is hardly defensible what with all the voter id cards (e.g., drivers’ licenses) being passed out to illegal migrants in sanctuary cities (e.g., Hillary Clinton, Bill Richardson, and Elliot Spitzer). Finally, the last point is admirable, but as an aside: Take an economics class.
    The minimum wage bars employment for the most needy in this country and incents black market activity. Hardly a method for assisting the populace, this [demagoguery] is a recipe for despondency.

  3. Obama chose not to accept public financing because he feels the system is broken. He knows he will be swift boated so he needs as much money as he can to combat that. If you could put limits on 527 groups, public financing could work.

    A driver’s license doesn’t give a person a right to vote. It just gives them the right to drive and get insurance so that if they are in an accident the person they hit isn’t screwed.

    I have taken economics classes, I also can look at examples of other successful modern economies, all of which has minimum wage laws. Milton Freidman free market economies don’t work as well in practice as they do on paper. Besides, do you really think anyone could survive on less than $6 an hour? We are better off making companies take care of their employees than putting that burden on the shoulders of society.

  4. Your points are well received; however, policy platforms laid upon good intentions are insufficient to produce feasible [political and economic] outcomes. For instance, one may vote with a drivers’ license as id. Moreover, Obama’s insistence on a $10 min wage and an array of other benefits, healthcare among them, for labor will put every sector in the type of insolvency we observe in industries where there exists heavy government involvement – e.g., airlines, steel, autos, etc.

  5. A person can use a driver’s license as id to vote, but that doesn’t mean they can vote. They are not US citizens therefore their vote doesn’t count. Raising the minimum wage would not hurt industry at all. Raising the minimum wage would create more people with a disposable income, thus new customers for companies. I’d call it the trickle up effect. All it does is increase the quality of life for the poorest people in our society.

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