Tag Archives: ernest hemingway

FWD: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

> Why did the chicken cross the road?
>>
>> BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
>> CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
>>
>> JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
>> recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all 
>> the
>> chickens on the other side of the road.
>>
>> HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that 
>> little
>> chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely 
>> qualified
>> to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this 
>> country
>> gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really
>> isn’t about me…….
>>
>> DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
>> that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road
>> before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. 
>> What
>> we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not 
>> taking
>> on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.
>>
>> OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, 
>> which is
>> why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the 
>> chicken
>> learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m
>> going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
>> road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>>
>> GEORGE W. BUSH:We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the 
>> road. We
>> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or 
>> not. The
>> chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground 
>> here.
>>
>> COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
>> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…
>>
>> ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:We have reason to believe there is a 
>> chicken, but
>> we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
>> road.
>>
>> JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I 
>> am now
>> against it!  It was wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
>> chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against 
>> it.
>>
>> NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You 
>> can
>> see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>>
>> PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>>
>> MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
>> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs
>> when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
>> insider information.
>>
>> DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
>> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been
>> told.
>>
>> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.
>>
>> JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the
>> plain truth? ‘That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my 
>> friends,
>> that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
>> too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
>> that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless 
>> phrases like
>> ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. 
>> It’s as
>> plain and as simple as that.
>>
>> GRANDPA:In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
>> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good 
>> enough.
>>
>> BARBARA WALTERS:Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
>> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
>> story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
>> accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
>>
>> ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>>
>> JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
>> together, in peace.
>>
>> BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only 
>> cross
>> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
>> your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.
>> This newplatform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C%
>> ………reboot.
>>
>> ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the 
>> road
>> move beneath the chicken?
>>
>> BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
>> definition of chicken?
>>
>> AL GORE:I invented the chicken!
>>
>> COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?
>>
>> DICK CHENEY:Where’s my gun?
>>
>> AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black 
>> chickens.
>>
>>
>>
>> I still think the best one is:  To show the opossum it could be done!
>

 

 

 


Nathan D George
www.math.berkeley.edu/~natedawg

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