Tag Archives: men

An Iron Fist In A Velvet Glove (Askmen.com)

Note: I was looking for something on the internet and I stumbled upon this piece. It’s in a very flashy publication (askmen.com) and the author is ostentatious, even regarding his own name. ‘Mafioso’?, please. Regardless, he does make good points here so I figure why sacrifice the message just because I disagree with the author’s choice of delivery style.


Article: Let’s get right down to business. You’re probably wondering what the title means — an iron fist in a velvet glove. First off, it describes a style of doing or taking care of business. Whether in politics, foreign affairs, business relations, or on the street, a man who hides an iron fist in a velvet glove is a man with the diplomacy and tact to resolve things rationally, and the guts to unleash his iron fist when circumstance demands it.

I’ve got to admit, though, that harnessing power is a tricky thing, especially in a bureaucratic era of “communication strategies” and “research and development” departments. Gone are the days of making quick, cutthroat decisions. Gone are the days of throwing an office tantrum and busting a few chairs in order to get the attention of your office drones. And, perhaps most tragically, gone are the days of pounding an iron fist on your desk and insisting that it’s either your way or the highway.

In short, the days of the stern disciplinarian seem to be numbered. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the vicious iron fist has been put to rest in some museum — it’s just that you can’t always be a war monger. As you goombas must know by now, you can’t just go running around popping everyone who crosses your path. Severity, after all, is often the simplest way to get things done. Just don’t abuse it so that it loses all impact.

So in this installment, let’s look at an iron fist in a velvet glove.

Diplomacy is a velvet glove

To be a good diplomat, it helps if you’ve already established a reputation for diplomacy. Just be careful not to go overboard. Most political diplomats are so bound by their duty to work out compromise that they can never bring the hammer down and call a spade a spade. However, if you know your colleagues and they trust your judgment, you can walk the line between tactful diplomacy and putting your foot down. Persuasive rhetoric and the patient willingness to listen are key tools you should have in your back pocket when mediating or resolving a situation. If this doesn’t work, though, don’t go dragging your story to your supervisor or the human resources department. Sure, these are the people assigned to deal with stalemates, but they’ll just file some paperwork that will get shuffled around and lost. More importantly, if you’ve exhausted every diplomatic angle, the situation now calls for decisive action, and true leadership begins where diplomacy ends.

Reveal the iron fist when: your diplomacy is just lip service and your coworker is becoming an obstacle to your own goals.

Communication is a velvet glove

It helps to know a bunch of your colleagues, to share stories and wisecracks, to eat with them and keep each other up-to-date. What I mean is that you’re killing yourself and adding to your personal workload if you don’t socialize with the people you see every day. After all is said and done, these are the people who will protect you if they like you, and they’ll expose you or ignore you if they don’t. So talk to them. Encourage their stories and their little tidbits of information. If you gab a little bit, you’ll establish a code of trust between parties. If you don’t, you’ll be out of the loop, on the outside looking in.

Reveal the iron fist when: someone betrays your trust. If you’ve established a code of trust and that is broken, it is treason, and that turncoat must pay a price.

Flexibility is a velvet glove

The next step for the tempered businessman is to be man enough to admit his own mistakes. Even an untouchable godfather is prone to making the odd mistake, so it is important to recognize a mistake early on and then accept responsibility. Despite the error, dealing honorably with the situation will foster respect in colleagues and business partners because they will recognize that the inverse is also true; if you accept your own mistake, it means you’re dead-right the rest of the time. And that, my friends, inspires confidence and builds trust.

Reveal the iron fist when: you know damn well you’re right.

Positive reinforcement is a velvet glove

It’s no secret that most people live dull, boring lives and need a stiff kick in the pants once in a while just to get things in gear. More often than not, the office drone is a drone because his life is about going through the motions, while never standing out from the crowd. So pat the guy on the back once in a while. Tell him he’s doing a bang-up job, even if a trained monkey could replace him with very little decline in productivity. If you can get a smile out of your most apathetic worker, then chances are some of the other ones will have a skip in their step, pleased with that whole “significant contribution” crap you fed them during their last evaluation. Having said all that, don’t make a habit of it. Above all, be fair, but if someone doesn’t respond to your pat on the back, it’s time to bring the hammer down.

Reveal the iron fist when: compliments have only stroked your henchman’s ego, instead of motivating him to get it in gear.

making money hand over fist

It takes balance to rule with an iron fist in a velvet glove. However, once you find a way to rule gently but firmly, you should very rarely have to reveal that strong iron fist.



German men told they can no longer stand and deliver (Telegraph, UK)


Women, the root of all social corruption, if left to their own devices and not forced to submit, seek invariably to eviscerate the masculine Spirit of God – i.e., to kill God and to kill men. Today’s feminists are simply following the path of Eve in the Garden, rebelling against God and seducing men in tow. Accordingly, man does himself a great disservice by acceding to the siren song of the woman, for he betrays not only God’s will, but the manly spirit which animates him. Outside of Christ, there is no man, only a vessel.

Barring obedience to God, hence wisdom regarding all things of the earth, Satan intimidates an apostate generation into ignorance and cowardice in perpetuity.

The war for independence is being fought in the realm of ideas. America and its allies wage proxy battles against thug immigrants and international terrorist gangsters, among other pests who won’t obey Anglo-European law. However, there is no enforcer of norms like that of good old-fashioned persuasion.

God seeks to persuade his subjects scientifically.

Satan, by contrast, cows his would-be opponents via innuendo (e.g., if one should dare stand up to the Devil, one should prepare oneself to be beleaguered by all manner of evil) in order to maintain dominion over his lost souls. Sure, the Devil tells them, “You may wander far and wide – do what you like – as long as you don’t challenge my methods.”

So you see, both God and Satan have immutable control over their respective realms. Accordingly, these masters require subservience. God, on the one hand, requires subservience from those who should love him and be convinced by his methods. Satan, on the other hand, requires subservience from those who fear him and are convinced, not by method or logic, but by emotion (e.g., deterrence or disincentive).

The foregoing is why Christians are [indoctrinated] into the notion that emotions, (collectively [personified]), are a wondrous servant, yet a terrible master. 




By Kate Connolly

Last Updated: 7:25pm BST 17/08/2004

German men are being shamed into urinating while sitting down by a gadget which is saving millions of women from cleaning up in the bathroom after them.

The WC ghost, a £6 voice-alarm, reprimands men for standing at the lavatory pan. It is triggered when the seat is lifted. The battery-operated devices are attached to the seats and deliver stern warnings to those who attempt to stand and urinate (known as “Stehpinkeln”).

“Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don’t want any trouble, you’d best sit down,” one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating the German leader, Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.

The manufacturers of the WC ghost, Patentwert, say they are ready to direct their gadgets at the British market.

Their prototype English-speaking WC ghost says in an American drawl: “Don’t you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who’s behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha.”

They also plan to copy the voices of Tony Blair and the Queen.

So far 1.8 million WC ghosts have been sold in German supermarkets.

But Klaus Schwerma, author of Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity? doubts whether it will ever be possible to convert all men.

“Many insist on standing, even though it leads to much marital strife,” he said.

In German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a “Sitzpinkler”, is equivalent to “wimp”.